Perhaps the simplest way to build resilience in kids is to just switch our language. Young children are naturally proud of their accomplishments. We hear phrases like, “Look what I did!” and “Watch this!” all the time. You can capitalize on this by emphasizing the amount of work it took to accomplish this task.

For example, if a child makes it all the way across the monkey bars for the first time, he is likely to celebrate and say, “Did you see that? Look what I did!” Our first reaction might be, “Wow! That was amazing! Congratulations!” There is nothing wrong with this response. It acknowledges the child’s excitement and helps him feel validated.

You can take it even further, though, by saying something like, “Wow! You made it all the way across by yourself! That is hard to do! I bet you feel proud of yourself for making it all the way across! You didn’t give up, even when it was hard.”

When we make tiny changes to our language, we can build in messages of resilience and confidence with kids.