By Alina Ramirez, PhD, LCSW-S, Clinical Director 

As news of another school shooting spreads across the country, many educators are facing a variety of emotions. And while educators are often tasked with supporting the mental and social emotional needs of students during a time of crisis, fewer people are paying attention to the needs of the educators themselves. What should educators, faced with the fear of school violence do with their emotions?  

Here are a few things to keep in mind.  

Acknowledge what you feel.  

Crisis and trauma can bring up different feelings for different people, whether the crisis is in our own community or across the country. Some people will feel worried, grief, uncertainty or loss – loss of life, loss of security. It is important to sit with the feeling and acknowledge that it is there. If we skip this step, we won’t know how to manage the feeling. How we respond to anxiety may be different from how we respond to grief, so sitting with and acknowledging feelings is the first step.  

Validate the feelings. 

Whatever feelings surface, know that they are okay. It’s okay to be angry, to feel helpless, to be afraid to go to work, to grieve a life of someone you’ve never met, to be sad for your students, or any other number of emotions. They’re all valid.  

Work to Prevent Feelings from Taking Over 

Sometimes we get caught up in an experience or problem and the connected emotions and it feels like the emotions may be taking over. Ideally, we want to manage emotions in a way that does not hurt us or, in instances of trauma, does not retraumatize. I recently heard it described as “not being in your feelings, but being with your feelings.” 

Let’s say, for example, that the primary emotions I feel when I hear about an act of violence in a school are worry and uncertainty. A less-healthy way to manage these emotions is to let them take over and control my choices and my actions. I may choose not to go to new places for fear that something could go wrong. I may struggle to make choices because neither option feels really secure.  

But of course, it’s not possible for me to live without uncertainty in life. So rather than allow this emotion to control me, another option is to manage this emotion in more adaptive ways. This is to say, yes, worry is here. It visits me and I have to manage it. But I also have to allow myself to feel worried without letting it take over everything I do.  

Know when you need extra help.  

If, despite your best efforts to manage emotions, it still feels as if they’re taking over, you may need additional support. Teachers working in a system where acts of violence continue to happen may also be susceptible to something called vicarious trauma. This is the experience of trauma that people feel as a result of hearing about or witnessing trauma. It can have the same effect as experiencing trauma yourself – especially if the experiences are repeated. Know that it is okay to need extra support – not just in thinking about how to keep yourself safe physically, but also how to protect your mental health.  

Connect to your body.  

Many people have experience understanding the link between their body and their emotions. For many of us, we know that a headache or a tense jaw correlates to stress, or stomachaches signal the onset of anxiety. When we are paying attention, our bodies can alert us even before we have an emotional response. Take time to reflect on the connection between your brain and body. What does it look and feel like in your body when you feel sad, anxious or worried?  

Notice your behavior, too.  

When our bodies aren’t the clue, sometimes our behaviors can be. When we feel overwhelmed with a big emotion, it can surface in different ways. If you find yourself easily snapping at others, extra tired, wanting to withdraw or having trouble sleeping… these may be a sign that you are having an emotional response before you even notice it.  

So, what to do?  

Try grounding exercises.  

If we feel emotions in our body, we can also use our body to help manage our emotions. There are many ways to ground ourselves and bring ourselves back to the present. I like activities that use all five senses – so focusing on one thing you hear, one thing you feel, one thing you smell, one thing you taste and one thing you see. Why does this work? The science of a grounding exercise is that it reminds our body that we are safe and present in this moment. When our body understands that it is here in this space, with its feet on this solid ground, it knows that it is not in danger. When the body knows, the brain can also understand this and we can begin to find a sense of calm.  

Fuel your body.  

Notice what you feel in your body and respond. Feel tense? Try a muscle relaxation exercise. Feeling lethargic? Try walking to the teachers’ lounge instead of eating in your classroom.  

Talk to someone.  

Whether you talk with a professional or a colleague, a family member or another loved one, talking to people helps us make sense of our emotions. We are humans wired to connect with others, and when we talk, we make sense of our thoughts, and we often feel less alone.  

Be compassionate with others and yourself.  

Managing gun violence in schools is a relatively new phenomenon. As a student, I was worried about earthquakes, not active shooters. Most educators today grew up in a time without the risk of guns on campus, and so most educators are navigating this new territory with limited guidance. Be patient when it isn’t handled perfectly, and be compassionate with yourself when you experience emotions around this topic.  

As we all grieve the tragic loss of lives to so many school shootings, educators are tasked with the extra challenge of creating a sense of safety for children in their care. Remember to care for yourself as well so that you can continue to support those who need you in the years to come.