There is a moment, or perhaps many moments, when a parent looks at their child and thinks about what they want for their child’s future. When thinking about their child’s future, there are usually three main areas that a parent considers: Relationships, Career, and Values and Beliefs. Most parents, whether consciously or not, have a list of goals for their child in each of these areas. So, today, let’s take time to write out that list.

Start by grabbing a piece of paper and something to write with. Now, think about your child 20 years from now.

Relationships

Relationships are an important part of any person’s life, and relationships come in a variety of forms. When thinking about what you want to see in your child’s future regarding relationships, it can be easy to focus in on romantic relationships. But don’t stop there. We encourage you to think beyond marriage/partnership/children, and think of all the different kinds of relationships your child will have in the future. What do you want their friendships look like? What do you want your relationship with your child to look like?

Career

Let’s start by acknowledging that most parents want their child to have a good career that ensures they have enough money to live comfortably. So, for this section, we encourage you to focus on what kind of professional life you want your child to have. Of course, you can’t pick your child’s career, but you can support them in pursuing their interests to give them the best opportunities that will put them on a path to a successful career. What are your child’s interests and passions? If she loves taking things apart and putting them back together, perhaps she could learn about engineering; if he loves exploring new places, he might want a career in travel, or doing something with the outdoors. The point isn’t to pick a career for your child, but to start thinking about ways that they can pursue a professional life that aligns with their passions and skills.

Values and Beliefs

This section encompasses a lot of things. Here you want to focus on values, morals, beliefs and spiritual life. Think through the things that you personally value and believe. What of those things is most important that you pass on to your child? If you are religious, what parts of your faith do you hope your child holds onto? How do you hope your child treats others? What do you want your child to prioritize as an adult? What are aspects of your culture that you want your child to value?

Now, you may be thinking that setting goals is all well and good, but your child is their own person – and there is only so much you can do for them when it comes to these three areas of their life. You would be correct. Parents can have many goals for their child, but at a certain point, a child takes over and their future is in their hands.

So, why even focus on these goals now?

A large part of parenting is preparing your child for the world. If you have a goal for them to be able to cook traditional meals that are important to your family and culture, you know that you can start now teaching them how to prepare those meals. If you have a goal that they get to one day have a career doing something they love, you can pay attention to their passions and take them to museums, check out books from the library or otherwise teach them about potential careers that align. Knowing what goals you have for your child can help you decide how to prepare your child for their future. That’s what parents do – they prepare their child and give them the tools they need to succeed!

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