In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s easy to see what everyone else is doing. As a result, we often fall into the comparison trap. Look at all these parents on Instagram who are baking homemade treats from scratch with their toddlers! Look at this blog with 500 crafts to do with young kids! Look at what my sister/cousin/friend is doing with her kids while they’re out of school. What’s wrong with me?

We’re here to tell you – nothing is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong if you can’t make your own cookies, or glue googly eyes to homemade puppets or arrange adorable snacks for your kids every day. Nothing is wrong with you if some days you’re so overwhelmed that you let the kids watch TV longer than you normally would or you feed them mac n cheese for the third time in a week.

What kids need most of all is to have adults who help them feel safe and seen. Everything else is just a nice-to-have.

When you find yourself falling into the comparison trap, stop. Ask yourself:

• Does my child feel safe?
• Does my child feel seen?

If you think there are ways you can improve on those two, great. If you answer yes to those two questions, you’re doing enough.

Remember, most of our comparison these days comes from social media, so you may need to limit your intake. There are apps that limit how much time you spend online, or you can go the old-fashioned route and set a timer. Consider checking just once or twice a day, and not periodically throughout the day.

Unfollow any accounts that make you feel bad about what you’re doing. They’ll still be there if you want to go back for inspiration someday, but there’s no point in torturing yourself. Just unfollow.

And never forget that you know your kids best. Don’t let what others are doing make you second guess your parenting. 

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