Today's teens have never lived in a world without smartphones, social media, and the internet. Having this kind of access has informed how teens connect with their peers.
Have you ever seen a teen scrolling endlessly on TikTok and thought, ‘What a waste of time!’? Or told a teen to put down their phone only to be met with a big emotional response?
Because most adults did not grow up with internet access and social media in their pocket, it can be hard to relate to the way teens use their phones. While there is definitely an argument for limiting the amount of time teens spend on their phones, it is important to understand that they aren’t just using them for no reason. Teens today are called “digital natives”, a generation that has never lived in a world without the Internet, social media, or smartphones. For them, technology serves a vital role in how they connect socially with their peers. What happens in person with peers affects their digital relationships with those same peers, and vice versa. Teens also use technology to connect digitally with people they may never meet in person. While adults might approach this kind of digital community building with caution, for teens it is a relatively normal way to make social connections.
The digital landscape is in a constant state of change, meaning that how teens connect may look significantly different in even a few years. However, one thing is for certain: technology is going to continue to play a key role in how teens connect. There are upsides to teens using technology to connect, but there are also some downsides. Let’s take a look at some of them.
Teens have the ability to connect with others who share an identity or interest.
The internet has granted us all the ability to easily connect with people outside of our immediate communities. For some teens, this is invaluable because they can connect with people like them that they may not be able to connect with in person. For example, many LGBTQ+ youth are able to find a community and safe place online in communities where that may not be available in person.
The internet grants access to information.
The availability of information can be a double-edged sword… but hold that thought. First, let’s focus on the positives. During adolescence, the brain goes through a heightened period of creating and pruning neural connections. This is why teens are great at learning new things. The brain’s reward system is also a bit in overdrive during this time, and the reward system loves to learn new things and have new experiences. Because of this, teens are naturally curious. They are seeking out new information and new experiences, and the internet offers them a place to satisfy that curiosity.
The digital world also exposes teens to other cultures and to people who have different lived experiences than their own. Learning about others helps build empathy and perspective-taking – two vital skills teens will need as they navigate adulthood.
Connecting via technology can foster creativity and build flexibility.
Because of the rapidly and seemingly ever-changing nature of technology, teens are very adept at adapting to new technology quickly. When a new social media platform is launched, teens are often some of the first early adopters. And because they are so comfortable with technology, they are often innovators in the digital space. They are constantly coming up with new ways to use technology to connect with their peers and coming up with creative ways to make digital content. This ability to adapt to new technology can not only foster creativity and innovation, but it teaches them the value of being flexible.
Access to information also means access to disinformation.
The negative side to teens having access to unlimited information via the Internet is that they also have access to disinformation. The Internet is a bit of a digital Wild West. Anyone can put anything on the Internet, and it is up to the user to think critically about the information they are seeing. Because teenagers are young and the critical-thinking part of their brain is still developing, distinguishing quality information from disinformation can be challenging. It is extra challenging on social media where algorithms are designed to feed you content relevant to what you are seeking. Additionally, algorithms reward content through engagement, and often controversial content or content containing disinformation receives high engagement.
Connecting online can be unsafe.
There are several safety concerns when it comes to connecting online. Anyone using the Internet can encounter cyber-attacks looking to access personal information. And, although they are digital natives, teens may not have learned how to avoid such attacks. They may also encounter people who are not who they claim to be. Considering some teens are searching for connection because it is not available to them in their direct community, this can make them particularly vulnerable to people seeking to exploit their need for connection.
Cyberbullying is also a safety concern for teens. While bullying happens in real life, it can be even more vicious online. Bullies can often feel emboldened by the fact that they can hide behind distance and a screen, and, in many cases, be anonymous. In our post, The Science of the Social Brain, we discuss how social pain is processed in the brain in a similar manner to physical pain. This means that bullying (and yes, that includes cyberbullying) can affect teens as strongly as physical pain.
Connecting online is not the same as connecting in person.
Humans need connection with other people. Lack of connection can lead to decreased mental and physical health. Teens use technology as a primary way to connect with their friends via texting or social media. This reliance on technology for connection increased during the pandemic and has continued to increase ever since.
Technology can be a powerful tool for connection. There can be many barriers to connecting with others, and technology can allow us to maintain relationships when connecting in person is not possible. However, connecting via technology is not a replacement for connecting in person. Many teens and adults connect with people who they have and will only connect with online. That’s not a bad thing, and sometimes it is the only way to maintain the relationship when distance or other limitations make it hard to connect in person. It is great that we can maintain relationships digitally, but it is important that we also prioritize the in-person relationships that each of us needs to live a full and healthy life. Online communities are great, but people also need to have relationships with others they can interact with in a face-to-face environment.
Now that we’ve looked at some of the upsides and downsides of teens using technology to connect, let’s explore ways we can help teens use technology to connect in healthy, mindful ways.
Teach teens about online safety.
We teach teens about all kinds of safety, and the Internet should be no exception. Teens need to be taught safety around posting on social media, interacting with unknown people, and recognizing things like phishing attacks.
Help teens use technology to foster in-person connections.
Because technology, specifically that smartphone they never seem to put down, is so ingrained in how teens connect, it can feel like a social lifeline to them. Teens can often feel that if they don’t have access to their phones they are cut off from their peers and socially isolated. Taking away a teen’s phone can often trigger a very real stress response.
One way to help teens shift away from this reliance on the phone as a social lifeline is to help them learn to use technology to foster in-person connections. For instance, if you notice your teen has been texting back and forth with a friend for an extended period of time, you might suggest that they plan time to hang out in person soon.
Work together with teens to establish boundaries and norms for using technology.
The teenage years are a time of budding independence. Teens are learning how to set and test their own boundaries and make their own decisions. However, teens often feel like they don’t have a say in anything, which can be frustrating when they are trying to find their own voice. When it comes to developing boundaries and norms around technology use, it is important to include teens in the process. They best understand how and why they use technology and, with some guidance, can establish healthy boundaries around technology use. Here are some ways to work with teens to create and establish norms around technology use:
Witnessing teens using technology can feel like watching a science fiction television show. We all use technology every day, but teens are on a different level. Technology is a part of their lives in a way it has never been for adults, and it can be tempting to think, ‘Well, we did just fine without technology, so you can too.’ But that isn’t the case. As more advancements happen each day, technology becomes an increasingly necessary part of all our lives. Technology is and will continue to play an important role in how this current generation of teens and future generations connect. One of the best things we can do to support teens is to help them understand the importance of using technology as a tool and finding a balance between using technology and experiencing life offline.
Share with
