This is part two on understanding grief and mourning. To read the first post, click here.

Grief is the natural response to losing something of value. Mourning is the task of processing grief. In other words – grief is what we feel when we lose something. Mourning is the work we do to come out on the other side of the pain.

Mourning is a task. It requires work. And it does not happen on its own.

The goal of mourning is not to “get over” grief. The goal of mourning is to process grief and arrive in a place of understanding, to accept that grief is a part of your story and write a new future, one that embraces your new reality while still maintaining a connection to what was lost.

When bad things happen, there’s no re-writing the story. The pain and loss is real and won’t go away on its own. The process of mourning is to acknowledge the pain and adjust to life after the loss in a new way.

Think of a rocket ship being launched into outer space. Standing on Earth, you see the rocket shrink smaller and smaller until it disappears into darkness. This is the grief. The pain of grief can feel almost unbearable at times, and in many cases, it feels as though you’re propelling rapidly into dark, unfamiliar territory. This journey is necessary. These emotions – often intense – are part of the process. Feeling them, rather than diminishing them or trying to escape them, takes courage. And yet, we can’t stop there. We can’t allow ourselves to get stuck on this one-way rocket away from Earth. Through a healthy mourning process, we can stay on that rocket as it continues its path through the darkness and eventually emerges back into view, coming back to Earth until it is planted firmly on the ground. The world may never look the same again to someone who has left Earth’s atmosphere and seen it from another viewpoint, and the world may never look the same again after the pain of loss. But if we allow ourselves to feel the sadness and mourn what was lost, we too can once again stand on solid footing as we walk into the next, new chapter of our lives.

Learn more about the four tasks of mourning here

Share with

Momentous Institute Logo

Stay updated

Stay in the loop on upcoming events and latest resources.



© 2023 Momentous Institute. All rights reserved.